Near the start of Ramadhan

Ramadhan. Widely known as the Puasa month in Malaysia. Right... ok this isn't what I wanted to talk about but, sheesh, it's that time again. Well, this month is where the Muslim fast(what we call puasa) for 30 days, blah blah blah and there, public holiday aka Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Yep, that's about it. In a correct way of saying, it's to build up your spiritual power, your tolerance, blah blah and mostly well, it's about the endurance of the mind and body. That's how I see it. Mom would say, " Oh great, diet!" Dad would say, "Oh great, diet!"... and later eating 2x the dinner we had normally. Lol, yeah I do that once in awhile too, but for this year? Don't think that's gonna happen. Not with my finger out of the line. Ok, forget bout this puasa thingy. Lately, there are a string of small events happening in my life.

As some of you know, I got my finger kinda screwed up. This is how it happened... Was rushing for some presentation on Monday, then... fell cause of the slippery floor, which the god damn cleaner was directly next to, and was chatting with another cleaner. My finger was kinda folded that time, and to support my body from the impact, hands landed first... but too bad for my finger. The finger landed on the edge of the stair steps... and I guess let's just finish the rest of the story with our imaginations... And yes, it's hella pain that time. What happened to the finger you ask? Hmm, in bandages for like a week already? lol. Not much of a problem, though I must say I can't hold the pen in this condition, and hey!!! Exam's around the corner. Am I screwed up or what?

Ah, forget bout the finger. Though I screwed up the finger... There was a small deed I did. Kinda stupid to say but... I saved a small rat's life. And this is the pic of the rat. (Evidence lol)





Well anyways, what happen was, the Alam Flora people took the rubbish and never close the big rubbish bins nicely, and so happens that this poor rat kinda fell inside... and there was a big rain that day. The water got caught up inside the bin, and this poor fella was about to drown by it. Couldn't get out by himself obviously, so I just kinda tumble the bin for the little guy to get out. Yeah I know, I don't really like animals, but not till the extent that I'll be happy to see em' dead though. So in the end, the little guy was freed from the water jail *lol I know it's a lame name* and limped out. Bet he was caught in there for a long time, could see it shivering a bit. Haha, felt kinda relieved in a weird sense, but who cares. As long as nothing dies here and there I'm fine with it.

Why so serious?

Hmm, well well well. If it isn't The Dark Knight. Yeah, I went for the movie with the buncha coursemates, where especially our honourable... "ball girl" wanted to see sooooooo much. Well I had to say that this was the only Batman movie that I feel is really worth watching, and a part of that it really potraited the good vs evil in desperation feel very good. Overall it was a show with a notable short storyline, with great effects and action... and the plot of the movie really makes you think on The Joker's insanity of breaking down your minds. However, the real message that the show conveys, is actually about trust and the true colours of oneself. Most people would find betrayal to be necessary for survival. But then, think again. Sometimes one's trickery of the mind may just make you resort to unnecessary betrayal, and furthermore, betrayal to me, is a heavy sin. In reality, these kind of thing do happen, though not in such an extreme condition (meaning not life n death situation or bombings). Give it a thought. If it was you who were being threaten or tortured in mind to betray your comrades, friends and people who trusted you... would you do it? Or would you not?

New sem's around the corner...

Well, yeah. Most kids my age would rather go anywhere BUT school, I guess. But seriously, I'm starting to get bored of this holiday shit. It's not like I could go anywhere. Anyways... guess what. I'm going to Cambodia in the middle of first school week. Nuh-uh that ain't cool for me... Nothing much of importance happened lately, so you know, no topic for blog... haha. Oh yeah, have I told anybody I'm going for a serious hairdo?

Thinking back about myself.

It's another normal day... well maybe not. Mom & dad were out for 2 days, went back to Penang for my gramps' funeral. And yeah, them only, I didn't go back. I used "I need to go for exam" as an excuse. Well actually, yeah, I really can't go because of the exam, not that I would be dropped out from the course but... I wouldn't want that to happen, and I just had to play safe. Is that selfish, or being considerate to my mom & dad? Only god knows... heck, would I know for myself since I'm so confused about whats' happening lately?

Anyways, other than this problem, other stuffs are fine. Well it's probably because I don't practically DO anything in the first place... Don't really have much to talk about this post, just trying to keep things updated. Also... I really think I need to trim down a bit. Haha... what mom said that me getting a bit fit would give me the "playboy" qualities to really bloom did make my day.

Letting go.

I guess you could say that I've received enlightment, or rather being more clear about what I want. I just want to move on. To Sotong, if you see this, I'd like to tell you that, you're the bestest friend I had so far... I've decided to make a move on my own life according to my own pace, and not being such a stuck-up emo ass. Wahahaha... I got back my confidence thanks to some shit that happened recently. Will tell you if you are free~ ngahaha.

To any other readers out there who read this blog before, you can expect a change pretty soon. Might be me just talking to the wall but, I love you guys. Take every chance you have to make yourselves happy in the right way. Supports from everyone is very much appreciated.

Sotong, love you lots for bearing with me last time. Although we don't have chance to talk much lately, hopefully we can get another chance to meet each other. By then, take good care of yourself~ say hi to bugs for me too~

Clear thought.

I decided to take a long break from MapleStory. Yeah, it's sad. Just moving away from it like that. I feel guilty, yet relieved. I wonder why... oh well, I just needed a break from it anyways. What I thought of today was, a clear thought about "wanting a change", and whatever things related to me referring to this statement. It's actually a total bullshit for me to say this kinda things, reason being that me myself am very, very hypocritic even to myself. Changes don't come when you keep repeatedly say about them. Instead, they come either where you least expect it to come, or maybe through one's hardwork. I have to admit that, I'm some sort of a Lotus Eater (We learn that story back on secondary school, talking about some guy that decides to have fun for his whole life and kill himself when he finished his money). Maybe? Or am I just a guy that needs more attention and love? Who knows? Even I myself don't know what I want or what I need.

P/S : Yeah, I'm just filling this blog up once in awhile. I always hope that you'd leave your comments here. Heh, feels like I'm looking for your symphathy or something yeah... Guess I should stop doing that you know. You are that one special person that... ah nevermind.

Forgive me, the girl who took my heart.

Guess in this situation, I've really become a failure. Failure to realize that... sometimes, if things weren't meant to be, it won't be as you hope for. The more you hope for, the bigger your disappointment. I was a fool to think that I could be with you. As you said last time... how are you going to be a couple together with a person you barely know in real life? Well, now I understood why. It's right. I guess I've been always putting too much real feelings into fake stuff. Thanks for the good times. It made me cheered up even when I was in the weakest state that time. I'll just cry and move on... Haha, how sissy of me. If you are reading this... I just wanna let you know that I think I've did the wrong thing to myself. I've fallen for you... but yet, it's barely impossible ya? I do hope that I was the guy in your checklist, but hey. I'm just a normal friend to you I guess. Words are just decorations, it can be fake yet true sometimes. But do know... Every word I said to you, was truly from my heart.