Wee... 7am.

You see... I don't wake up at these kinda hour. Yep, I didn't sleep, if that's your guess. Couldn't sleep actually. So... again I'm writing this senseless blog to keep it updated and all. Oh well, it was a boring day as we say, starting from Mapling, to bossing and then DotA. Nothing nice really happen, just a few trivial stuff like s0fer making the door open and me winning some games. Gee... Come to think of it, I don't even know why I can't sleep. Been thinking about a lot of stuff that I shouldn't. I guess sometimes... no matter how close you are to a person, you can't just butt in their lives and make decisions for them. Having the heart to help is one thing, having the ability is another. If you're seeing this, I guess I'll have to say sorry again. I definately don't know how to help you, but I really wish I did had a way. Just take good care of yourself sis.

To my little Sotong, sorry also. Guess I can't really turn back my sleep time just yet. Promise you but can't do so. Hopefully I'll be able to go back to normal A.S.A.P. Love you lots, and everyone also.

Cherish life as it should be. We only have 1 time living. Do what is best for it.

6am in the morning...

Well here am I, 6am + a bit bit in the morning, having some typing time for myself. I've been thinking... What have I done all these while. By coming out with this thought... basically I get to realise that, I've been doing a pretty whole lot of crap for a long long time. Guess I'll need some guidance and inspiration. I feel quite a nuisance to some people, maybe I think too much, or maybe it's a fact. I don't know, nah... I think I should say as "I don't want to know". Thinking back and comparing other's life to myself, I feel... I'm quite a lucky guy. Spoilt brat, selfish boy, immature idiot, whatever you can dish out. I really hope I can change all of these. Heh... guess it's plain bullshit to talk about these kind of things now.

What do you think? Am I getting emo again or what? Haha... sounds like I'm making you stand in a very bad position yeah... Sorry though. Sorry that I'm being such a selfish and inconsiderate person. Have I done a lot for you? I don't know lol. I just know that, you did a lot for me. And... seriously. I'm touched and happy. I felt like crying sometimes haha... Now it's like... without you around, I'm just not me. Gee, I don't know how to end this by the way. I just hope I can do my best to not let you be sad... Don't think I can be the guy to make you happy forever or those kinda stuff. Just a plain guy that wants to see you be happy in your life.

Guess this is all. Hope you actually read through.

P/S : It's just how I feel. If you think I'd do something stupid, don't worry. I won't.

What's gonna become of me?

Well I didn't really give a real thought about this issue. True, it's the holidays now for me till MARCH, dang... Being back at home at 7am in the morning and waking up at 4pm just isn't right. I know that, yes. I don't have anything to do. Maybe yes, maybe no. Partly why I'm writing this is just to let out those inner feelings. I'm seriously confused with the fact that, "Hey... you're ruining your precious time around by doing nothing and NOTHING." Or so to say... my awkward feelings about all the recent happenings around. My life is dull in a way that... I don't really meet a lot of people, just sticking there on that few places, and sitting my life out. Why am I doing this? What would she say if she read this? Haha... Stupid me right? Sometimes I really wish that she'd just scold me or something. But guess that's kinda impossible, unless I tell her to take a look at this blog or something... Gee, we used to say "Let's get married for that ring" and end up I really like her. Thinking back, how stupid am I. It's just not gonna happen. Not everyday is a Sunday in any matter of life. I have to work hard. Or maybe just give up? Maybe I''ll just work myself out this time... It's time I make a change, at least for myself. I've been giving up too much on things that happen in my life. Life's a war, maybe a game, or anything you might describe it to be. Well at least, bless me for having a chance to continue it, rather than just die off or something.