About...

respect. Well what do we know about respect? Is it a feeling? A term? Or just plainly a word?

Well to me, its something you must have. Normally, respect is something you give to others, but today... I'll have to say its kinda for your ownself. Is respect holding people in high regard, listening to what they say and such? Actually, it's just a little thing that can't really be explained. Having respect for others gives a lot of good points in life. Being more courteous, being more likeable, being a better person.

Losing your respect or being disrespectful is one thing, but losing respect of yourself... That's kinda unforgivable. The reason, actually, why I'm writing this post today, is because of a certain coursemate. I don't mind you talking during me presenting, but whistling till the whole lecture hall is your damn sound? Gimme a break dude, you think I wouldn't mind? I'm not really a hard guy to be friends with, but then... do you really have to do that? If I we're to be cruel, I'd just shove you with "you're weak and you act like you're better then me?"

I didn't said that. Why? Coz' I still have some respect for you. But then, do you have any for me?

Disorder.

The title does in a sense, suit my current condition. I'm not really stressed out or what. It's just that things aren't really in place in my life now. Sleeptime, eat time, whatever time. Disorder is the only word I can think of in terms of relating it to one another. Well maybe I'm not doing stuff in the right way, as always.

Aside of that, I think things around me are kinda changing. Like how people react, how things work, casual stuff like that. I wonder if I'm actually kinda laid back behind, or are things going on a move too fast for me? Nevertheless, in such a crude way of living, probably it's the former then the latter.

School life is ok, but some stuff kinda screwed up for me. Guess I was too stupid to do such things without clear and full consideration of the consequences. Not that I mind though, but I just didn't expect that it might jeopardize our friendship. I know it's kinda hard to look at me at the same way but... I'm still me, and you're still you. Well you know, you did make a little change in me. I get to look at things in a more cheerful way, I can smile more when you're around, and I don't feel so stressed when looking at you. But lol, we're better off as buddies in the end. Can't thank you enough for the changes that you made to me.

EDITED for the sake of my self-conscience.

Everything's a big pity. Things just don't happen how you wanted it to be.

Yet again... slowly towards...

Towards exam that is. Gee, I really wish I could start studying, but with this sleeping disorder in place... Ok, that's it. I'm a goner. Speaking of which, forget about exam awhile. The one thing I really wish to do, is to get in a relationship. Haha... random thought of the day as usual. It's not like I really care but, yeah... I do wanna try this kinda thing for a change. I've always wondered either if I'm too sensitive, or totally not sensitive at all. Does relationship make one grow? I wonder about that too... Haha, guess I'm quite good at these no-brainer thoughts alright. Having a relationship isn't simple, yet I always fool myself about it. Where's my sense of resposibility? I dunno, somewhere down the drain maybe?

Near the start of Ramadhan

Ramadhan. Widely known as the Puasa month in Malaysia. Right... ok this isn't what I wanted to talk about but, sheesh, it's that time again. Well, this month is where the Muslim fast(what we call puasa) for 30 days, blah blah blah and there, public holiday aka Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Yep, that's about it. In a correct way of saying, it's to build up your spiritual power, your tolerance, blah blah and mostly well, it's about the endurance of the mind and body. That's how I see it. Mom would say, " Oh great, diet!" Dad would say, "Oh great, diet!"... and later eating 2x the dinner we had normally. Lol, yeah I do that once in awhile too, but for this year? Don't think that's gonna happen. Not with my finger out of the line. Ok, forget bout this puasa thingy. Lately, there are a string of small events happening in my life.

As some of you know, I got my finger kinda screwed up. This is how it happened... Was rushing for some presentation on Monday, then... fell cause of the slippery floor, which the god damn cleaner was directly next to, and was chatting with another cleaner. My finger was kinda folded that time, and to support my body from the impact, hands landed first... but too bad for my finger. The finger landed on the edge of the stair steps... and I guess let's just finish the rest of the story with our imaginations... And yes, it's hella pain that time. What happened to the finger you ask? Hmm, in bandages for like a week already? lol. Not much of a problem, though I must say I can't hold the pen in this condition, and hey!!! Exam's around the corner. Am I screwed up or what?

Ah, forget bout the finger. Though I screwed up the finger... There was a small deed I did. Kinda stupid to say but... I saved a small rat's life. And this is the pic of the rat. (Evidence lol)





Well anyways, what happen was, the Alam Flora people took the rubbish and never close the big rubbish bins nicely, and so happens that this poor rat kinda fell inside... and there was a big rain that day. The water got caught up inside the bin, and this poor fella was about to drown by it. Couldn't get out by himself obviously, so I just kinda tumble the bin for the little guy to get out. Yeah I know, I don't really like animals, but not till the extent that I'll be happy to see em' dead though. So in the end, the little guy was freed from the water jail *lol I know it's a lame name* and limped out. Bet he was caught in there for a long time, could see it shivering a bit. Haha, felt kinda relieved in a weird sense, but who cares. As long as nothing dies here and there I'm fine with it.

Why so serious?

Hmm, well well well. If it isn't The Dark Knight. Yeah, I went for the movie with the buncha coursemates, where especially our honourable... "ball girl" wanted to see sooooooo much. Well I had to say that this was the only Batman movie that I feel is really worth watching, and a part of that it really potraited the good vs evil in desperation feel very good. Overall it was a show with a notable short storyline, with great effects and action... and the plot of the movie really makes you think on The Joker's insanity of breaking down your minds. However, the real message that the show conveys, is actually about trust and the true colours of oneself. Most people would find betrayal to be necessary for survival. But then, think again. Sometimes one's trickery of the mind may just make you resort to unnecessary betrayal, and furthermore, betrayal to me, is a heavy sin. In reality, these kind of thing do happen, though not in such an extreme condition (meaning not life n death situation or bombings). Give it a thought. If it was you who were being threaten or tortured in mind to betray your comrades, friends and people who trusted you... would you do it? Or would you not?

New sem's around the corner...

Well, yeah. Most kids my age would rather go anywhere BUT school, I guess. But seriously, I'm starting to get bored of this holiday shit. It's not like I could go anywhere. Anyways... guess what. I'm going to Cambodia in the middle of first school week. Nuh-uh that ain't cool for me... Nothing much of importance happened lately, so you know, no topic for blog... haha. Oh yeah, have I told anybody I'm going for a serious hairdo?